


let them eat cake

by arisfocis



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Dumb Shit Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Fluff without Plot, Jaemin Does Not Want To Be Eaten, M/M, [chanting] JEETH JEETH JEETH, everything is cake, renjun is a bit of a conspiracy theorist, the rest of the dreamies are witnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25388416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arisfocis/pseuds/arisfocis
Summary: Look. Jaemin didn’t ask to be like this. He just so happened to be blessed by Mother Nature with a toothy smile, perfectly sculpted features and impeccable hair dye jobs—what can a man do?Of course, this all sounds terribly conceited of him. Or, at least, until you give context.Said context being that Renjun is currently chasing him around the kitchen with a pair of scissors.Because he’s drunk and thinks Jaemin is too perfect to not be a cake.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 19
Kudos: 175





	let them eat cake

Look. Jaemin didn’t  _ ask  _ to be like this. He just so happened to be blessed by Mother Nature with a toothy smile, perfectly sculpted features and impeccable hair dye jobs—what can a man do? 

Of course, this all sounds terribly conceited of him. Or, at least, until you give context.

Said context being that Renjun is currently chasing him around the kitchen with a pair of scissors.

Because he’s drunk and thinks Jaemin is too perfect to  _ not  _ be a cake.

And, you know, it’s  _ technically  _ not Jaemin’s fault. Renjun’s sober imagination is… creative enough. He’s the boyfriend who makes Jaemin sit through true crime and alien documentaries. He almost persuaded Jaemin into making the trip to the Area 51 raid, only backing down after several days of pleading on Jaemin’s part. (Although Jaemin’s not one to talk. He makes Renjun sit through romcoms and baking shows late into the night and taste-test all of his experiments in the kitchen—even the failures.) 

Except now, Renjun’s drunk. Making him one, more stubborn, two, less sensible, and three, harder to control.

There’s also the fact that he’s  _ still chasing Jaemin around. _

Jaemin should probably work on that first.

“ _ MARK!”  _ he bellows at the top of his lungs. “ _ JENO. WHY ARE YOU GUYS JUST SITTING THERE?”  _ He throws himself behind Jeno, out of breath. Jeno steps out of the way. 

Donghyuck is recording everything with a gleeful little smile on his face.  _ Bastard,  _ Jaemin thinks,  _ I don’t want my face to be plastered all over your Twitter page tomorrow.  _ Jaemin hopes that his two-second glare conveys the sentiment accurately. He notices Renjun stumbling towards him again. This time, thankfully, there are no scissors in his hands.

Jaemin mentally professes his gratefulness to whatever supernatural being is looking out for his safety.

You know, the evening didn’t start out like this. It was supposed to be a nice, small gathering of just Jaemin, Renjun, and their friends. No alcohol, just dinner and a movie and a chance to catch up after months of incessant work and school. 

And it had started out like that! Jaemin had made food for all of them and they had eaten until they were sated, joking around and laughing the whole time. There was some movie that Renjun had put on after 20 minutes of arguing that had ended with Mark in a headlock. Donghyuck and Jeno were being obnoxiously in love on the couch and everything was painfully, satisfyingly  _ normal.  _

_ Huh,  _ Jaemin thinks,  _ maybe I’m getting a bit soft. _

He digresses. Evidently, his plans did not work out. Jeno found the alcohol cabinet (under the influence of Donghyuck’s goading) and Jaemin hadn’t been paying enough attention to how much Renjun was drinking. And now Jaemin’s tipsy, and Renjun’s burrowing into his side. A drunk Renjun who apparently thinks Jaemin is made of  _ cake.  _

Renjun had spent the latter part of the evening alternately whining and yelling about Jaemin’s smile. Donghyuck was enjoying himself, joining in on the taunting. And Jaemin? Well.

Jaemin’s just a tiny bit fed up. 

Almost on cue, Renjun starts whining again. “Nana,” he whines, stretching out the vowel sounds, “It’s not  _ fair _ . Why do you look like that?!?” At this point, the only thing keeping Renjun from falling is his vice-like grip on Jaemin.

“I don’t know, baby, genetics?” Jaemin jokes. Renjun has moved onto stroking Jaemin’s eyebrows very absorbedly. Jaemin sighs. “Junnie, baby, do you want to go lay down?”

“Don’t wanna,” Renjun pouts. He looks like he’s almost on the verge of tears. “My boyfriend is a cake.”

Jaemin kinda wants to cry, too. “Junnie, dude, please.” He thinks he hears Mark laugh. When he whips his head to look at him, though, Mark has a completely straight face.  _ Suspiciously so.  _ He narrows his eyes at Mark, who holds his hands up in a gesture of innocence.  _ Fucker. _

Jaemin, however, has bigger problems on his hands. Namely, the fact that Renjun has actually begun crying. Jaemin can feel his impending headache baring its teeth.

“My boyfriend wouldn’t call me dude,” Renjun wails. “Nana’s a greasy bastard, he would  _ not  _ call me dude!” The sentence is punctuated with a little stomp. Jaemin is torn between cooing and getting offended. “They took my boyfriend and replaced him with a cake!”

Jaemin drops his face onto Renjun’s shoulder and groans. He steels himself for the tantrum that Renjun will inevitably throw. Finally, after gathering every ounce of his resolve, Jaemin lifts Renjun up bridal style. 

In shock, Renjun stops wailing momentarily. 

Jaemin’s made it halfway to their room before Renjun snaps out of it and starts whacking Jaemin’s shoulder. “I’M BEING KIDNAPPED BY THE CAKE!” he bellows. Jaemin leans as far back as physically can without losing his balance or dropping Renjun. Distantly, he hears Donghyuck cackling. 

Jaemin pushes the door open and maneuvers the two of them into the room. He drops Renjun onto the bed with a groan. Renjun shoves his head under a pillow as Jaemin sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Not fair,” Renjun says, voice muffled. “Why’re you so pretty?”

Jaemin smiles fondly and moves the pillow off of Renjun’s head. “I think you’re prettier, baby.” 

Renjun blinks sleepily, barely processing Jaemin’s words. He stretches his arms out in a wordless request for cuddles, to which Jaemin acquiesces. He scoots into the hug, Renjun’s back to his chest and their hands loosely holding each other.

Renjun’s out like a light within minutes. 

**bonus:**

Renjun groans and brings the blanket over his eyes as Jaemin flings the window’s curtains open. “Oh, my god,” he says. “My head hurts like a bitch.”

Jaemin flops onto their bed. “Should have watched how much you drank last night baby. Do you want water?” he asks cheerily. Renjun gives him the stink-eye.

Renjun drags his phone into reach by the charger cord and peruses the messages in the group chat from the night before. Jaemin lays his head in Renjun’s lap and smiles mischievously. “You should watch the videos Donghyuck sent.”

Renjun, unsuspecting and innocent, clicks on the first video—only to be startled by the tinny sounds of Donghyuck’s cheering and his own cake tantrum.

Jaemin grins up at Renjun, who scrambles to pause the video. Renjun throws his phone to the side, ensuring that it lands safely on the bed, before shoving Jaemin off his lap and putting his own head in his hands. “I hate you so much, oh my god,” he moans despairingly. “Oh my  _ god.”  _

Jaemin laughs and walks out of their room, a bounce in his step. Renjun follows him, yelling. “You  _ motherfucker! _ ”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> YEAH BABY! please leave a kudos/comment if u enjoyed i would very much appreciate it (need me my dopamine delivery email)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/AR1SFOC1S)   
>  [tumblr](https://arisfocis.tumblr.com)


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